MCTs are over.
But I don't feel joy or relieve.
I feel afraid that I'll once again disappoint my nice teachers with my lousy results even after mugging at TRL for 6 days in a row during the holidays.
And knowing that I'm obviously gonna get a U for math doesn't help much.
After going for NTU and NUS's open houses and MCTs, i'm starting to feel the heat from the competition.
I've never felt such a strong resentment towards Singapore's education system before.
But I'm not gonna give up.
Nope, those two words were never in my dictionary, and never will be.


On a brighter note,
Happy birthday Han and Angie!(:
A few of us 14/09-ers went out after MCTs to celebrate Han's birthday.
We ate Vietnam food at Bugis area.
And then walked around aimlessly for the rest of the day, like what we do best.
Met Christine and her bf(:
Shopped around for presents.
Loitered outside CottonOn for a very VERY long time.
And finally, we left at 5 plus to meet TG at TMall.
They just finished "Alice in Wonderland" and were freezing cold.
Obviously they were delighted when the "human heater", aka myself, came along to spread warmth(:
Winnie left early.
Theresa had to leave early.
Met up with the rest and dined at Pizza Hut.
Talked alot. But the topics were hovering mainly around JC life, the workload and the stress.
It was evident from everyone's faces that we were rather tired.
After waiting for Den's parents to fetch her, we all went home.
And i finally got to use the com.
Watched FMA and went to sleep.


Woke up at 9 plus the next morning and met up with Li Yin, Flower, Yee Ling, Waygene and Daphne to go sing K at Cash Studio. (with my heavy Nibori guitar)
Had a pleasant surprise when I saw Ze Hui with her guitar at the bus stop.
Turns out she was going to cut her hair with Amelia.
Had a even greater surprise when I spotted Winnie and Serene at Bedok Macs when we went in to look for Yee Ling.
:D
K session was fun, just that I had to leave for guitar at 3.30, which I dragged to 3.40.
Brisk walked to school from interchange with my Nibori.
I was sweating profusely and panting when I reached school.
Nope, I'm not gonna risk getting fined the third time.
It was great to see all my guitar friends again.
After guitar, Meryl and I met Chang Yi at the mrt station and we went to Bishan.
We were debating about the services of the handphone service providers - Starhub, Singtel and M1. Haha(:
Meryl told us many many interesting stuff on the way there.
I love listening to her life stories, which are 1000x more interesting than mine, I swear.
After that, Chang Yi and I went to look for our classmates at Ajisen Ramen to attend Han's surprise birthday party. (organised by Waygene^^)
Had Cha Shu Ramen and felt really full after that.
Loitered around aimlessly after that.
I was so tired that I was closing my eyes while standing in the mrt.
Guitar always seems to drain my energy.
Watched Tv when I reached home and then went to sleep.


Slept till 10 plus.
Cleared and filed up the pile of work on the table which I brought out to study but didn't had time to file them back.
Re-attempted my math paper.
I was practically scolding myself the whole time when I realised I could solve most of the questions and I didn't understand why I couldn't do it under exam conditions that day.
I'm so going to get it from Mr Low:(
Ate dinner 3 hours after I ate lunch:(
EARTH HOUR!
Me and sis switched off the lights on switched on the laptops(:
I was blog-hopping for the first part of Earth Hour^^
And typing the first part of the blog post in the dark until about 9.20.
And then my parent came home.
And being parents, they switched on the lights and fans.
Sigh, why can't they come back 10 mins later?:(
Oh well.


I'm enjoying what's left of the day and shall continue mugging again tmr.
Feeling so empty inside.
So much time is spent on the books that I can't even do what I want to do.

I want to learn to cook (I only know how to cook maggi mee:( ).
I want to learn to sew properly.
I want to learn to play chords on my guitar and sing.
I want to read the newspapers! (okay, that sounds sick, but I really want be more knowlegable about other stuff other than what we learn in school)
I want to write birthday cards for the March Babies!!!
I want to learn ice-skating. (Haven't done that since Pri 5)
I want to learn how to count the bills (cuz everytime i'm out with my friends, they're doing all the calcutation of GSt and service charge)
I want to spend more time with my family.
Somehow I feel that I'm so tied up studying that I'm neglecting them.
I want to have improve my IQ and EQ.
I want to be there for my friends.
I want to go for OG dinners! (I'm always missing out on those cuz I always have other things on)
I want to be a better person.
I want to improve my attitude.
I want to appreciate nature. (Somehow, life is so fast paced that I miss out on all the little little things like the snails coming out after a rainy day)
I want to have more topics to talk about with my friends that are NOT exams, schoolwork and stress.
I want to care less about what other people think of me and stop doing things so that they will think of me the way I want them.
I want to chuck everything aside and go on a long long holiday, the kind where we don't need to worry about school and stuff back in Singapore.

I want to be more confident.
I just want to be me.


AND AND...
Guitar tickets are going at $10, at TJC Audi.
GRRRR:( INFLATION:(
Yes, I know, I'm irritated too.
I'm supposed to sell 7 of them.
Will you all still come down to support me?:(





From now on, I'm gonna be a Maximiser and not just a Satisfyer.