Everything's happening at the wrong place and the wrong time.
The heart's confused and the body's weak.
The painful feeling of not being able to see the completion of something you've worked hard together with the team due to unforeseen circumstances and something that you could do absolutely nothing about.
And then the feeling of guilt that you've been a really selfish girl, that you're not even horribly saddened over what has happened, placing the wrong priorities on the wrong stuff.
And the insistence on your own ways on something fulfilling but with some element of danger that you really want to complete once in your lifetime so that you'll have no regrets when you leave, despite parents expressing discontent.
The feeling that you're still not grown up to be trusted with your own safety.
And that tone which shows impatience and distrust and how they're not happy with the way I do things.
Yet the feeling of extra-ness you feel even though you're joining a group of friends and acquaintances who are going along as their comm, as though you're intruding into their activity.
Then the lonely feeling that you have to get things done and do a good job, but at the same time being hindered by the lack of support that sometimes can't be help.
You find yourself venturing into new things that you want to try, that may be out of your comfort zone, but you feel intimidated by your lack of skills.
The confusion you get from the interaction and you're not sure whether what that means.
But at the same time you don't know what you want.
The struggle to keep up your happy front and control the many outbursts of emotions.
And you just feel like running away and disappearing somewhere that no one can find you.
Emokid92. But I feel alot better after typing this out. (:
Perservere on!